Funerals

The standard procedure for a funeral is that a funeral director work with the Pastorate’s staff to set up the details of the visitation, funeral Mass or liturgy, interment, and luncheon. When a funeral home/director is utilized, the first step in the funeral planning process is to contact the funeral home to handle the necessary arrangements. Given logistical considerations, the funeral home (not family members) will contact designated Pastorate 18 personnel to determine possible dates for the funeral.

Funerals normally take place on weekdays or Saturdays between 10:30 and 11:00 AM, unless the particular needs of the family require a different time. Funeral services may not displace previously scheduled liturgies (e.g., daily Masses, Eucharisitic Adoration, or weddings). Although efforts will be made to accommodate requests for specific dates, considerations must also be given to other Pastorate ministries/apostolates. As such, no plans should be made or publicized before coordinating with the Pastorate.

As a rule, Catholic funerals are celebrated in one of the Pastorate’s churches (Order of Christian Funerals, 155, 179). Funerals are public rites, in which all members of the parish are invited to participate (Order of Christian Funerals, 11, 150). With the express permission of the Parochial Administrator, in rare and exceptional circumstances, a funeral liturgy outside of Mass may be celebrated at the funeral home.

Once the date and time have been determined, the priest assigned to the funeral will contact the deceased’s family and schedule a meeting to plan the funeral liturgy. This is to choose scripture readings, hymns, and other details of the funeral liturgy.

If the family of the deceased is not using a funeral home/director to plan the funeral, a priest from the Pastorate will work with the family to coordinate the funeral arrangements. When a funeral director is not used, all fees and stipends are paid directly by the family. In the case of financial hardship, the Parochial Administrator may waive or reduce any and all fees/stipends. The following recommended fees/stipends are based on services rendered:

Musician: $100.00

Cantor: $75.00

Priest: $75.00

If the deceased is being interred at one of the Pastorate’s cemeteries, diggers must also be paid burial fees.

The funeral liturgy is always presided over by one of St. Maximilian Kolbe Pastorate’s priests (Order of Christian Funerals, 14). Priests are assigned to coordinate and lead funeral liturgies based on a regular rotation and availability. For this reason, St. Maximilian Kolbe Pastorate is unable to honor requests for a specific priest.

A guest priest/deacon is welcome to concelebrate (or assist in the case of a deacon) as long as he is in good standing. In most cases, a guest priest or deacon will not be the presider at a funeral liturgy. At the discretion of the Parochial Administrator, the guest priest/deacon may be permitted to give the homily, final commendation, or lead the rites at the cemetery. If the family of the deceased requests a guest clergy from outside of the Diocese of Madison, a letter of suitability must be obtained and the Parochial Administrator of St. Maximilian Kolbe Pastorate is to be informed.

The standard liturgy for a deceased Catholic who was in good standing with the Church is a Mass of Christian Burial with the body present (Order of Christian Funerals, 154). A Mass should always be the presumed format. If there is a question about whether a liturgy without Mass might be more appropriate, the family must speak with the priest assigned to coordinate the funeral (Order of Christian Funerals, 178). In cases when the deceased is not a practicing Catholic, or lived a life publicly contradicting Catholic beliefs and practice, a liturgy without a Mass might be more appropriate.

When Mass is celebrated, during Holy Communion, those practicing Catholics who are properly disposed, in a state of grace, and who have fasted for one hour may come forward to receive Jesus Christ in the Blessed Sacrament. All others will be asked to remain prayerfully in their place.

The grieving process necessarily includes time to remember the life of the deceased loved one. In the Catholic funeral rite, this is most appropriately done during the time of visitation or at a luncheon. Since the funeral liturgy is primarily a time of prayer, diocesan policy forbids the inclusion of a eulogy during these rites.

Viewings and wakes may take place in the narthex (Waunakee), parish hall (Lodi), gymnasium (Dane), or church (Westport). Visitations occuring at St. Mary of the Lake, because this is a sacred space, must be subdued and particularly solemn in nature. Set-up (flowers, easels, etc.) outside of the sanctuary may take place anytime, however, caskets may only be opened after the conclusion of daily Mass.

Funeral directors are encouraged to do their best to help maintain the sacredness of the church. While individuals are welcome to use the church for prayer, the atmosphere should always be one of silent recollection. Conversation and other secular activities should take place outside of the church (e.g., in the narthex, parish hall, etc.). Given the growing number of individuals who are unchurched, before entering the church funeral directors are urged to invite gentlemen to remove their hats, to ask individuals to discard any drinks/food, and to suggest that anyone chewing gum throw it out.

Please do not have flowers delivered from the florist before the morning of the funeral. We do not have anyone on staff to accept and care for flowers delivered from the florist.

Keeping in mind the liturgical seasons and other factors, the priest will on a case by case direct the placement of any flowers in the sanctuary (Order of Christian Funerals, 38). We ask that funeral directors not move flowers belonging to the church already in the sanctuary. Flowers are not to be carried as a part of the processional, offertory, or recessional. Flower arrangements may be left for use in the church at the discretion of the family as a temporary memorial to the deceased.

Memorial displays (including photographs and memorabilia) are welcomed during the visitation. With the permission of the Parochial Administrator, tractors, cars, and other similar memorabilia may be parked outside of the church but, given its solemn nature, shall not take part in the formal procession to the cemetery. If a photograph is displayed in church, it must be a portrait photo and must not block the view of the tabernacle, or obstruct the visibility of the celebrant at the ambo or altar.

Following the visitation and funeral liturgy, the funeral home is responsible for cleaning up any flowers (including petals, leafs, etc.), removing all displays, and putting away any tables or stands that may have been used. Any items left behind may be discarded and cannot be retrieved.

St. Maximilian Kolbe Pastorate is happy to provide a musician/cantor for funeral liturgies. If a family wishes to have a specific accompanist, cantor, or choir from the Pastorate, this should be communicated to the priest coordinating the funeral as soon as possible. Guest musicians/cantors from outside of the Pastorate must have some basic knowledge of Catholic liturgical worship and be approved by the Parochial Administrator.

Because the Mass is a public act of worship of the Church, the priest is ultimately responsible for the music in the funeral liturgy (General Instruction of the Roman Missal, 111). While many secular songs may have special meaning to a loved one, family, or friends, they are rarely appropriate for liturgical use in the Catholic Church and should therefore be reserved for gatherings before or after the funeral liturgy and burial. During the funeral liturgy planning meeting, the priest can help families choose music appropriate for the funeral Mass. Use of recorded music in the liturgy is not permitted.

During the liturgy planning meeting, the priest will assist in the selection of Scriptural readings – one reading is from the Old Testament, one from the New Testament. Usually the selection of the Psalm is given to the musician/cantor, and the selection of the Gospel reading is made by the celebrant. To make this process easier, the Catholic Church has predetermined a number of Biblical passages that are appropriate for the occasion of a funeral. Non-Scriptural readings are not permitted.

During the funeral liturgy, the readings are ideally proclaimed by a practicing Catholic (who must also be in good standing with the Catholic Church). If this is not possible, with the permission of the priest, a non-Catholic Christian may proclaim one of the readings or offer the petitions. A reader needs to be able to read clearly and audibly, and be able to focus attention on the Word of God rather than on the proclaimer. For this reason, it can be difficult for immediate family members to proclaim the readings.

The priest may wear black, violet, or white vestments for funeral liturgies (General Instruction of the Roman Missal, 346). The decision about the color of the vestment worn is made by the celebrant.

At St. John the Baptist and St. Mary of the Lake, live-streaming is possible with the express permission of the presiding priest, but is ordinarily limited to situations of pastoral need. The determination of pastoral need is made at the sole discretion of the presiding priest.

Throughout the centuries, the Church has followed the practice of inhumation after the pattern of Christ’s own burial. This expresses respect for the human body as a member of Christ and faith in the resurrection of the body. Although the cremation of remains is not forbidden, it is still preferred that the physical body of the deceased be present during the funeral liturgy (Order of Christian Funerals, 413).

When cremation does occur, remains should never be scattered or divided among family members. The cremated remains of one deceased person may not be mixed with the cremated remains of another person. It is not permitted to delay the burial of the cremated remains in anticipation of the eventual burial of another person. The permanent storage of cremated remains in a private home, funeral home, or any other place is prohibited (Order of Christian Funerals, 417). As an integral part of the funeral rite, the burial of remains is to occur immediately following the funeral liturgy (Order of Christian Funerals, 148). When burial will take place outside of the Pastorate, the family of the deceased must guarantee that remains will be interred without undue delay at the conclusion of the funeral liturgy.

Burial is normally not a stand alone rite but is preceded by the appropriate Catholic funeral liturgy (Order of Christian Funerals, 50). To ensure this occurs, when the funeral liturgy takes place outside of the Pastorate, permission must be obtained from the Parochial Administrator before a grave may be opened and burial can take place in any of the Pastorate’s cemeteries.

Cemeteries are sacred and holy places – the very ground has been consecrated and they are the final resting place of the earthly remains of the faithful. Behavior should always respect this, just as it would if one were inside a church. Mindful of this, while mourners may be inclined to include secular elements (e.g, non-religious songs, butterfly/balloon releases, drinks, “celebrations of life,” etc.), the cemetery is not the appropriate place for such remembrances.

Families choosing to have a luncheon after a funeral are welcome to do so at St. Michael in Dane and St. Patrick in Lodi. Please note that on Fridays throughout the year we will not serve any meat in observance of the Church’s laws regarding abstinence (Canon 1251).

Remembering a loved one through a memorial gift is a meaningful and beautiful way to honor their memory. Consider how they would want their passing memorialized by those left behind to continue God's work at our Parish, School, and Cemetery. Gifts can be made in any amount, large or small, and are tax-deductible. These may include gifts of cash, appreciated stock, or other assets. Gifts can be made anonymously or be acknowledged with a letter sent to recognize the gift.